Gurgle: A Little Rumble on Breakfast

I’ll be honest; I have no idea what it is. Is it gas moving around? My intestines shrinking? (Or rolling or wrapping around on themselves?) Is it a gerbil trying to get out? That’s sometimes what it sounds like. But, we’ve all had it happen. Often at work, during a painfully-silent meeting where your tummy has decided to take center-stage.


The first time it happens, often no one will comment. I mean, it’s a normal thing. Like a cough or a sneeze. Not a big deal. By the second gurgle, a co-worker might say “Man, did you miss breakfast?” or something to that effect. But by the third or fourth or fifth, it just starts to get awkward, and people start handing you muffins.

I know, because I used to battle this problem all the time. Back when I thought not eating anything all day was a great way to tell my body how much I loved her.

“Here girl, sit in this cage with nothing to eat all day, and I’ll be back this evening with booze and a Lean Cuisine. It’ll be great.”

No wonder she gurgled. I now see her gurgles as rebellion.

“Freaking feed me!” she was screaming.

And, she just wanted a healthy bite. Not anything crazy like eighteen donuts. I mean … she would have eaten them, because I had starved her. But, she also would have eaten an apple with peanut butter, too—happily—and shut the heck up. I could have gotten through those many work meetings without the embarrassing gurgle and without the growing pangs of hunger that sent me crashing afterward.

I share this memory because I want to let you all know that I know what it’s like to struggle with what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat (or not to eat), etc. Sometimes refusing yourself food, certain types at certain times (say that extra cookie in the afternoon), can feel like a good thing. You’re being disciplined. You’re taking control.

[…] I know what it’s like to struggle with what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat (or not to eat), etc.

But, other times—those gurgle times—it’s likely you’ve denied yourself a bit too much and it’s time to ease up on the reigns. And, I know it can be hard, particularly with all the crazy foods and labels we have out there today—organic, vegan, GMO, non-GMO, fat-free, low-cal, etc.

You may ask yourself in the morning: Should I have a piece of toast? Should I have another piece of toast? With jelly instead of butter for less fat? But is that more sugar, which is worse? Should I even be eating bread? At least it’s not a bagel. Maybe I should just do nuts instead? But, they’re so calorie-dense …

It can be tough in today’s world of a million foods. I sometimes wish I could go back to the glory Caveman days where the choices were berries, meat, leaves, or a tortilla, all 100% organic, 100% natural because we hadn’t, as a society, yet figured out how to truly f&*k food up. Nothing was processed. Everything was pure. But there is no easy answer nowadays, other than to find out what your body likes in the mornings, if anything, and feed it that.

I just skip the wine at breakfast. That is a bit early … right?! Not on Sundays! Can you say: “Mimosa Day?!”

My body likes coffee first, for sure, but then definitely also a nibble before lunch. Often some eggs and veggies, or fruit and yogurt, or straight-up cheese (I’m not going to lie, the title of this blog says it all – I am a huge cheese fanatic). I just skip the wine at breakfast. That is a bit early … right?! Not on Sundays! Can you say: “Mimosa Day?!”

While it did take me a while to make peace with breakfast, I finally did. Calling it brunch and eating it a little later helped me. Silly, I know. But, hey, if it works … Also, it helped knowing whatever stupid internal, fleeting embarrassment I might feel—from having that extra scoop of yogurt, or handful of nuts—would pale in comparison to a whole meeting with my bosses and co-workers where I’m rumbling audibly in the corner and everyone makes pity faces at me and starts handing me muffins.

Don’t let it get to mandatory muffins! Take your breakfast back!

Do you struggle with what to eat for breakfast? What have you found that works?



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s