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Unbearable Drive: Review of Portia de Rossi’s ED Memoir

Portia de Rossi proves the very thing I think everyone should know about people suffering from an eating disorder in her book, Unbearable Lightness: eating disorder sufferers are anything but lazy. Just like Portia, they are driven, motivated, exceptionally hard-working, and frighteningly hard on themselves.

Imagine accomplishing any one of the amazing things Portia was able to achieve—getting admitted to law school, becoming an actress, working her way to the States and onto hit TV shows—while running or walking multiple miles every day (yes, miles!), doing hundreds of leg lifts and sit-ups, counting calories, restricting, forcing her body into an unnatural “what society thinks is beautiful” mold. It’s like having two overwhelming full-time jobs at the same time and succeeding wildly at both. Of all the other eating disorder stories I have read, I believe I connected with Portia the most because of her innate drive to constantly strive for a bar she, herself, set so high.

Like I said, the very opposite of lazy. Continue reading “Unbearable Drive: Review of Portia de Rossi’s ED Memoir”

Sisyphus

When the image first came to me, I couldn’t un-see it. It was there. Imprinted.  Emblazoned on my mind. I was Sisyphus. Or had been at least. There was no other way to put it. But, I was no longer. And, now, a recovered eating disorder victim committed to helping others avoid that treacherous mind-altering path, I hope I can help you see it, too. Continue reading “Sisyphus”

Surviving Your ‘Marcia’

Book Review: Maureen McCormick (“Marcia Brady’s”) Here’s the Story

All of them had hair of gold … but this one was Callie-style BOLD! Let’s admit it, Marcia Brady, the oldest daughter from the national sensation of a 70s sitcom, The Brady Bunch, seemed perfect. She was beautiful, thin, smart, loved. On the screen she was perfect. But, Maureen McCormick, who played Marcia Brady, was not that girl at all. Yet, we all have a ‘Marcia’ version of ourselves that we try to stick and glue together and put out for the world to see, when we’re really not that girl, or boy, at all. Continue reading “Surviving Your ‘Marcia’”

A Food Jam

Back in my eating disorder heyday, I would often get caught in what I called a “food jam.” A forced meal. A real dilemma. For me, lunch was always the most common. When I was a highly-functional bulimic I would often starve through the day, drinking only coffee for breakfast.

Why blow through so many calories so early? When I’m not even desperately starving yet?” Continue reading “A Food Jam”

Humor Heals

“The minute you can start to laugh about it …” I had always heard people say, but I did not grasp the power of that statement until it finally dawned on me. That is when you start to heal. Humor. Laughter. That is where it all started for me. It was my strength all along, but I just didn’t realize it.

Clearly, I am an eating disorder survivor. It is the entire reason for this platform and blog, and the reason I feel compelled (energized really!) to write all of these mini revelations down and share them with you, because they empowered me. Maybe you are just looking for a better diet, trying to build a better relationship with exercise and food, or whether you (I hope not, but perhaps like me) went that far and messed yourself up when it comes to eating that much. No judgment here. I did it. But I want to give you one tool that helped me mend my approach to food: Continue reading “Humor Heals”

Book Review: For the Love of Love Fat by Tabitha Farrar

“Something about restricting myself and not eating felt good. It felt right.” Tabitha Farrar’s words in her mesmerizing eating disoder memoir stunned me. Continue reading “Book Review: For the Love of Love Fat by Tabitha Farrar”

Your Fat and Unlovable Photo

For me, it started with a Polaroid. A lampshade. A stocky topless girl. And a Polaroid. Then, later, a traumatic Tanya Harding whack to the knees of my confidence that briefly shattered me. That was just the pinnacle moment that triggered what had already been brewing in my mind and what would continue to roar like a furnace long after I could even recall what Tanya’s club felt like. Many things had been leading up to it. Continue reading “Your Fat and Unlovable Photo”

Podcast Review: Finding the Unbreakable You: Meg Doll

And what a doll she is! Not just for putting herself out there, but also for taking the time to record her conversations with others and put them out there on her podcast: The Unbreakable You.

The most healing thing I have found in my recovery is hearing the voices of fellow sufferers. It is almost scary now to look back and realize how alone I felt, yet empowering to know I wasn’t alone at all. There were thousands of people to reach out to who would listen and not judge, I just didn’t know where to find them, so I kept trudging alone, my dirty ED knapsack slung over my shoulder, wearing my body to the bone.

This realization has made me want to share any and all possible resources for anyone out there looking. There are far more than you realize, and Meg Doll is a phenomenal, unbreakable one. Continue reading “Podcast Review: Finding the Unbreakable You: Meg Doll”

On Microwave Meals

They seem a little too good to be true, don’t they? While I don’t need to mention any particular name brands here, I’m sure you all know the ones I’m talking about. The meal-in-a-little-box microwave cuisine meals in the freezer section. They’re all around 400-600 calories. Promising to be a perfectly-satisfying, perfectly-proportioned meal, that hits on most of the major food groups (except their version of protein is some brownish, whitish rubber and their vegetables are some version of colored tidbits that I’m not sure even coordinate with the vegetables their hues imply). Continue reading “On Microwave Meals”

Book Review: Bloom

If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, Caralyn wants to give you a hug. She also wants to give you a journal, a path, and hope for an amazing, healthy future.

I was first drawn to Caralyn through her powerful blog, Beauty Beyond Bones. In her posts, which she began sharing as part of her own journal while recovering from anorexia, Caralyn is real, honest, funny, and—just as she described in her book, Bloom—spunky! Continue reading “Book Review: Bloom”