Can We Talk about Posers?

Don’t they all look so perfect and slender? Their taut tummies stretched in a sexy arch. Their chests heaving forward demanding your attention. And, their thighs! You can actually see daylight between their thighs! I don’t think any outdoor breeze on earth has graced the skin between my thighs. And, I don’t have really large thighs! And, I also don’t spend my time on the beach posing. I spend it writing to help others who might be slipping toward a terribly debilitating eating disorder as I did, and this topic has been burning on my mind.

Can we talk about posers for a minute? Continue reading “Can We Talk about Posers?”

My Favorite Time of Day

I know it’s not going to surprise you to know that my favorite time of the day is the time when I start sipping on wine and nibbling on cheese. But that’s not the entirety of the reasons why it is my favorite. Continue reading “My Favorite Time of Day”

Unbearable Drive: Review of Portia de Rossi’s ED Memoir

Portia de Rossi proves the very thing I think everyone should know about people suffering from an eating disorder in her book, Unbearable Lightness: eating disorder sufferers are anything but lazy. Just like Portia, they are driven, motivated, exceptionally hard-working, and frighteningly hard on themselves.

Imagine accomplishing any one of the amazing things Portia was able to achieve—getting admitted to law school, becoming an actress, working her way to the States and onto hit TV shows—while running or walking multiple miles every day (yes, miles!), doing hundreds of leg lifts and sit-ups, counting calories, restricting, forcing her body into an unnatural “what society thinks is beautiful” mold. It’s like having two overwhelming full-time jobs at the same time and succeeding wildly at both. Of all the other eating disorder stories I have read, I believe I connected with Portia the most because of her innate drive to constantly strive for a bar she, herself, set so high.

Like I said, the very opposite of lazy. Continue reading “Unbearable Drive: Review of Portia de Rossi’s ED Memoir”

Sisyphus

When the image first came to me, I couldn’t un-see it. It was there. Imprinted.  Emblazoned on my mind. I was Sisyphus. Or had been at least. There was no other way to put it. But, I was no longer. And, now, a recovered eating disorder victim committed to helping others avoid that treacherous mind-altering path, I hope I can help you see it, too. Continue reading “Sisyphus”

Surviving Your ‘Marcia’

Book Review: Maureen McCormick (“Marcia Brady’s”) Here’s the Story

All of them had hair of gold … but this one was Callie-style BOLD! Let’s admit it, Marcia Brady, the oldest daughter from the national sensation of a 70s sitcom, The Brady Bunch, seemed perfect. She was beautiful, thin, smart, loved. On the screen she was perfect. But, Maureen McCormick, who played Marcia Brady, was not that girl at all. Yet, we all have a ‘Marcia’ version of ourselves that we try to stick and glue together and put out for the world to see, when we’re really not that girl, or boy, at all. Continue reading “Surviving Your ‘Marcia’”

A Food Jam

Back in my eating disorder heyday, I would often get caught in what I called a “food jam.” A forced meal. A real dilemma. For me, lunch was always the most common. When I was a highly-functional bulimic I would often starve through the day, drinking only coffee for breakfast.

Why blow through so many calories so early? When I’m not even desperately starving yet?” Continue reading “A Food Jam”

Your Fat and Unlovable Photo

For me, it started with a Polaroid. A lampshade. A stocky topless girl. And a Polaroid. Then, later, a traumatic Tanya Harding whack to the knees of my confidence that briefly shattered me. That was just the pinnacle moment that triggered what had already been brewing in my mind and what would continue to roar like a furnace long after I could even recall what Tanya’s club felt like. Many things had been leading up to it. Continue reading “Your Fat and Unlovable Photo”