Why Barbie Makes Me Laugh

I think we’re all pretty familiar with the “life-size” Barbie analogy where a Barbie doll is made to-scale as a life-size woman and she’s absolutely ridiculous: boobs she could not fit into any shirt, feet the size of insects, arms as thin as reeds. It really is quite hilarious (and sad) that children strive to look like that. If you haven’t seen that Barbie analogy, here’s a great recap:

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While I think this measurement-to-measurement comparison is an important reminder to the little girls and boys inside us that Barbie is not a good role model, the more I think about Barbie, the more I see how a real-life version of Barbie would make me laugh. I wouldn’t envy her, or be jealous of her. I would simply laugh. Just imagine the many oddities and limitations Barbie has to deal with and how she might handle that on social media:

Because she can never NOT smile:

  • “Lost in Simon Says again today. Hate when he says ‘make a sad face’.”
  • “I am pissed. Why don’t you believe me?”
  • “This IS my resting bitch face.”

Because she has no nipples:

  • “Piercing guy told me ‘No’ because he wouldn’t know where to put them.”
  • “Is it cold in here? I can never tell.”
  • “Where do I put my pasties?”

Because her knees only bend with two audible pops up to 20 degrees:

  • “Namaste in this awkward extended position cause I can’t do Lotus.”
  • “At least I can bend and snap (oh … *snap*).”
  • “There goes my pole-dancing career.”

Because her toes are always pointed like she’s in a perpetual orgasm:

  • “Got my ‘O’ feet on today (and everyday)!”
  • “I can’t wear Birkenstocks. I just can’t.”
  • “I can’t understand why they call them ‘flip-flops’ – mine never flop.”
  • “Why are the cops always so mad when I tippie-toe in the line-up?”

Because … well, just because she’s hard, shiny plastic:

  • “Nothing jiggles when I twerk.”
  • “How do I ‘make it clap?’”

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The more I think about it, the harder I laugh. Imagine Barbie trying to go down stairs. Her back foot wouldn’t bend enough to let her safely put her front foot (even in ‘O’ mode) onto the next step, so she would just tumble the rest of the way down and land in an only slightly-bended heap at the bottom. Like a falling stick. (It’s a good thing she’s plastic.)

But, then how does she even get up?

Can she?

I believe if Barbie took one single fall, she’d be down forever.

I hope some of these Barbie musings have made you all laugh as hard as I have, and—far more importantly—realize how infinitely more amazing YOUR bendable, capable, unique body is compared to that piece of plastic.

–Callie

Free Friday: Get your Free e-copy of What Goes Down!

Good morning and TGIF!

It’s that time again: Free Friday!

Anyone who would like a free eCopy of my book, What Goes Down: The End of an Eating Disorder, to read and review gets it!

Reading other’s stories of struggle and recovery was incredibly therapeutic for me when I was recovering, and I hope my words and story can help others too.

Throw a comment out if you would like a free eCopy, email me at callie.bowld@gmail.com and I’ll get it over to you to read and review. I can’t wait to hear what you think of it!

Here’s to recovery. Cheers!

–CallieScreen Shot 2019-12-06 at 08.35.38

 

Goldilocks and the Three Thanksgiving Pants

It’s true; I have three pairs of Thanksgiving pants for the three different phases of my eating past. I can’t go back in time and change what I did all those years. My past is still very much a part of me, so I have to find a way to face it, forgive it, and find some humor in it. I truly believe that is the best way to make peace with it. Look back and laugh a little.

When I looked back, I was surprised to find I had somehow channeled my inner Goldilocks (I guess I can chalk that up to my natural blonde locks) when I found I had evolved through three very different types of Thanksgiving pants. I also found it ironically hilarious that Goldilocks begins her plunder hungry, looking for food, and the first thing she does is sit down and eat a stranger’s whole bowl of porridge.

I had to laugh, realizing that was a pretty fitting testament to what my ED-self might have done back then. Hide your porridge folks, Goldie’s hungry and on the hunt! And, in true Goldilocks-style, that is exactly where my twenty years of porridge-plundering began—with pants way too small in an attempt to hide my hunger. Continue reading “Goldilocks and the Three Thanksgiving Pants”

A Chat with Meg Doll: The Unbreakable You Podcast

I am so excited to share this with you today! I was recently a featured guest on The Unbreakable You Podcast with Meg Doll.

This was such an honor! It was also the first time I raised my actual voice to speak out against eating disorders, and it was beyond empowering. Meg made me feel unbreakable. I really enjoyed talking with someone who has been there, who does not judge, and who simply wants to hear from others who have also battled this monster, so that our voices can reach those who think they are alone.

My biggest piece of advice was not to lose yourself to your eating disorder. In life, I am a strong, supportive, funny friend, sister, daughter, professional, all of that… but for whatever reason my eating disorder took all of those strengths away. In front of him I was weak, lifeless, and sad. When I finally found my humor again, and its keen ability to cut through the BS that the voice inside my head was always spouting, I finally found ME again.

I hope my talk with Meg can get some of you laughing and remembering what you were like before your eating disorder took over. That person is still in there. That person is still funny, strong, and capable of conquering anything.

A huge thank you to Meg Doll for taking a chance on this unknown author and letting me share my story. It meant the world to me.

Now, go check out that podcast — Episode #083!

Click here to listen!

–Callie

Humor Heals

“The minute you can start to laugh about it …” I had always heard people say, but I did not grasp the power of that statement until it finally dawned on me. That is when you start to heal. Humor. Laughter. That is where it all started for me. It was my strength all along, but I just didn’t realize it.

Clearly, I am an eating disorder survivor. It is the entire reason for this platform and blog, and the reason I feel compelled (energized really!) to write all of these mini revelations down and share them with you, because they empowered me. Maybe you are just looking for a better diet, trying to build a better relationship with exercise and food, or whether you (I hope not, but perhaps like me) went that far and messed yourself up when it comes to eating that much. No judgment here. I did it. But I want to give you one tool that helped me mend my approach to food: Continue reading “Humor Heals”